


Keep Smiling

by Ely



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:23:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely/pseuds/Ely
Summary: It had taken ten seconds and two words for Luciel Choi's entire world to fall apart.





	

It wasn’t as though it had ever even been a possibility. But, for some reason, that made it hurt even more.

Jumin had messaged the chat roughly ten seconds ago. Ten seconds. Two words. It had taken ten seconds and two words for Luciel Choi’s entire world to fall apart.

He lay on his back, holding his phone over his head, reading and re-reading the message over and over again, feeling his heart sink through the floor every time.

Up until now he must have had some kind of hope that he still had a chance. It had seemed like a sort of bad dream he might wake up from. But now… now it was real.

It was like watching static on a screen. It’s not solid or real, and you might occasionally see a diluted image, but it was barely there. You could pretend it wasn’t real. Jumin’s message had brought everything into painfully sharp, HD focus.

_Jumin Han: We’re engaged!_

Ten seconds later, the replies started coming through.

 _Yoosung★_ _: OMG!? THAT’S AMAZING!!!!_

_ZEN: Wow! I didn’t expect that!_

_Jaehee Kang: Congratulations to the both of you!_

Luciel knew he should reply with his best wishes. He _knew_ it was the right thing to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to type anything.

_707 has left the chatroom._

He threw his phone onto the floor and grabbed his hair in his fists, just staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how to feel. He felt simultaneously angry, guilty, heartbroken, betrayed (which made no sense, since she had never been his to begin with) and numb. His thoughts, which should have been rushing, were silent. His head was filled with no thoughts. Just white noise.

Then he felt it. His heart. It had dropped out of his body when he had read the message, but now it seemed to have crawled back and it almost felt as though it was _physically_ splitting open. He clutched hold of his chest and gulped heavily, trying to ease the fact his heart felt like it had cramped and was shrivelling up inside of him.

He had always known he had a crush on her. Ever since he’d first seen her in Rika’s apartment on the CCTV, ever since he’d first researched her to figure out if she was dangerous, ever since he had first called her and heard her voice and her laugh. He used to watch her on the CCTV occasionally when she was doing to most mundane things, like cooking or washing up. He watched to make sure she was okay and happy. Whenever she had looked sad, he had called her. They got on so well and she just… _got_ him. His humour, his jokes… everything. He had always known he had feelings for her. What he hadn’t realised was that it was such an intense love.

Now she was engaged to marry Jumin. Their relationship had always seemed strange to Luciel. Of course, he had supported it from the start because he had just wanted her to be happy, but it seemed… wrong. Jumin was a nice guy, and Luciel was close with him, but he couldn’t see how her personality fit with his. How they had come together and fallen in love.

She was perfect for _Luciel_. Why did Jumin get her?

Luciel’s phone started ringing from the floor. For a moment, he wondered if he would be able to move his heavy body if he even tried, but he managed it as though on autopilot. He glanced at the screen. It was her.

Despite his better judgement, he swiped to answer.

“Hello? Seven? Luciel, are you there?” she asked, sounding slightly frantic.

“Yes,” Luciel forced out, “Yes. Hi, how are you?”

“Are you okay? I’m worried about you.”

In spite of everything, Luciel felt his hopes leap when she said this.

“I’m fine.”

“You just… left the chatroom,” she said, sounding slightly hurt.

“Yeah. I had… to go,” he said lamely. He screwed his eyes shut and sat on the edge of his bed, begging himself not to cry.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” she pleaded softly, “You can talk to me. I can help.”

“No you can’t,” Luciel said, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He heard his voice choke up slightly, and he knew she’d heard.

“Please… I’m so worried about you…”

“You don’t care about me,” Luciel said suddenly, as more of the tears began falling from his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t blame her but he couldn’t stop himself.

“What? Of course I do! I-”

“No, you don’t,” he said, standing up and raising his voice so he was almost shouting, “You don’t care about me. You never did. You only care about Jumin. You love Jumin. You can’t care about me too.”

“Luciel, what-”

“I am in love with you,” he cried, collapsing to his knees sobbing, “I am so desperately in fucking love with you and I have been ever since I first saw you. I want to scream it at the rooftops, but I can’t. Forgive me if I’m not too fucking thrilled about you being engaged to someone else.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Luciel knew he had gone too far. But he didn’t care. The words poured out almost as fast as his tears.

“I thought we had something. I thought we were perfect for each other. I thought we were going to get married in the space station…” Luciel broke off his sentence for a moment, sobbing.

“Luciel…” she said softly, “I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You thought I was joking, huh?” he laughed humourlessly, “Yeah. Everyone always does. But you chose Jumin. And that’s fine. I don’t fucking care anymore. I hope you’re happy together, but don’t expect me to come to the wedding."

“Saeyoung,” she said. Luciel felt his breath hitch in his throat at the use of his birth name, “I want you there.”

“What?” He felt his anger dissolve into sadness.

“I want you at the wedding. I was hoping… but I guess it doesn’t matter now,”

“Hoping? Hoping what?” asked Luciel, collapsing so he lay on the floor.

“I… I don’t think you’ll want to anymore,” she said in a small voice.

“Tell me,” he said. There was no way she could hurt him any more than he was already hurting.

“You know I don’t speak to my parents. And you… you’re my best friend. I was hoping you could be the one to… to walk me down the aisle.”

He was wrong. This hurt him even more.

Luciel imagined her dressed up in a wedding dress with her hair done perfectly and her already painfully beautiful face glowing with happiness at the thought of marrying someone else. He imagined himself standing next to her, and her smiling up at him as she took his arm and they walked down the aisle together. He imagined reaching Jumin and passing her over to him, forcing a smile.

He couldn’t do it.

“I… I can’t,” he said, tears falling silently across his face to the floor. He wanted to. He wanted to make her happy by doing this for her. But he couldn’t. “I’m sorry.”

“Please,” she begged, and Luciel swallowed as he heard her voice choke up with a sob.

“I... I just… I won’t be able to…”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“It isn’t your fault,” he said.

“It is. Luciel, I…” she paused for a moment, probably to compose herself, “I didn’t know.”

“That doesn’t matter now,” Luciel said, “I… I wish you all the best. Congratulations,”

“Luciel, please…”

“I have to go and congratulate Jumin. Goodbye.”

He hung up quickly before he could cry any harder.

He inhaled deeply and opened up the chat where everyone was still raving about the announcement. He typed.

_707: **OMG!!**_

_707: WOW GUYS_

_707: WELL DONE_

_707: I GUESS THE RUMOUR_

_707: ABOUT JUMIN BEING GAY_

_707: **REALLY ISN’T TRUE!!**_

_707: IS ELLY GOING TO BE BRIDESMAID?_

_707: **CAN I BE BRIDESMAID?!?!?**_

_ZEN: Calm down with the caps -_-_

_Yoosung★_ _: Seven! Where did you go?_

_Jumin Han: Actually, that’s a good idea._

_Jumin Han: Elizabeth would make a fantastic bridesmaid._

Luciel watched as the conversation continued before his eyes. Tears streaming down his face, lying on the floor…

What a pathetic existence.

* * *

**ONE YEAR LATER**

It was finally happening. Whatever shred of hope Luciel may have had before was now completely and utterly destroyed.

But he kept smiling. For her.

She stepped out of her room to the hallway where he waited and nothing could have prepared him for how breathtakingly stunning she was. His breath caught in his throat and he smiled as she smiled. He had never seen her so happy.

“Let’s get going, m’lady,” he said, bowing and offering her his arm. She giggled and took it and they made their way to the car. He held open the door for her to climb in, and they both laughed as she clumsily tried lifting her dress along with her.

Eventually they were both in the car and were on their way.

“How are you feeling?” she asked gently. Luciel looked at her, surprised.

“Me? I should be asking you how you’re feeling!” he said.

“I’m fine, but… that’s not what I meant,” she said, tentatively reaching out and taking Luciel’s hand in her own. His heart spluttered and his smile dropped from his face.

“I’m okay,” he said, quickly grinning again, “Two of my best friends are getting married! Perhaps next, Zen and Jaehee will get hitched.”

She laughed, making Luciel fall in love even more. “Perhaps.”

They reached the church and got out the car (again, not without difficulty). She was no longer smiling as brightly. She looked nervous.

“Hey,” whispered Luciel, nudging her slightly, “It’s okay.”

“Have I made the right choice?” she said suddenly.

“The… what? Oh, don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now! Your future hubby is right inside!” he said.

“I… I don’t know,” she said, sighing and visibly trying to pull herself together.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” said Luciel, trying to sound light-hearted rather than as though he was about to cry, “But you love Jumin and Jumin loves you. There’s no way you’ve made the wrong choice,” he said, but she still looked scared. “Besides, if you divorce you get half his money, and that isn’t exactly a bad thing.”

“Hey!” she squealed, softly hitting him on the arm. He grinned toothily at her.

The music started. This was their cue.

Luciel held out his arm to her and she took it, smiling up at him, ready to go inside. Before the doors opened, she stood on her toes for a moment, as though trying to whisper into his ear. Luciel leant down slightly so she could reach.

“Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me,” she said before gently pressing her lips against his cheek.

This was cruel. This was torture. But Luciel kept smiling.

He smiled as they walked down the aisle. He smiled as he watched Jumin see her in her dress for the first time and gasp at her beauty. He smiled as Jumin took her hand and she let go of Luciel’s arm. He smiled as they exchanged their vows. He smiled as they exchanged rings. He smiled as the sealed the marriage with a kiss. He smiled through the ceremony. Through the reception. Through the entire day.

But when he returned home, he cried.


End file.
